Tuesday, December 14, 2010

TROLL 2 (1990)

A family vacations in a town of vegetarian goblins that turn humans into plants and then eat them.

Photobucket

One was not enough because this is not a sequel, and it's not about trolls. At all.

This movie is about so many other things. So many things.

Why does that girl have freckles drawn on with eyeliner?
Is the father adjusting his belt about to urinate on his son or whip his ass or...go on hunger strike?
Why is dead Grandpa Seth only selectively visible?
Who was in charge of costume continuity?
Which amazing acting school did Deborah Reed attend?
Have you ever seduced a grown man with Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie and a corncob?
And then done it so hard it made popcorn?
WHAT IS THE CHEMICAL PROCESS BY WHICH HUMAN FLESH BECOMES VEGETATION????? WHAT ENZYMES COULD POSSIBLY BE INVOLVED??? HOW??? HOW??? HOW??? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE?????????

You will be asking yourself all these questions and more.

Personal confession:

I resisted watching this movie for a long time, because I was thoroughly queased out by the clips I'd seen of the goblins eating green mushy things and making the same disgusting toothless gum-smacking noises my cat breathes in my face at the crack of every dawn.

Oh I was wrong.

So wrong.

So wrong I'm giving myself corner time and deferring to my girl C-$'s writeup while I think about how wrong I was.

In conclusion, OH MY GOD:



Special thanks to C-$ and Tina for hosting.